god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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