the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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