like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize