dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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