Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize