This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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