WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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