i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
His nipple licking is glorious
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