Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize