WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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