Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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