woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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