I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize