I hate all girls vehemently.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
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Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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