I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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