So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
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We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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