Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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