she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
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I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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