Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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