a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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