I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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