Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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