I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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