Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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