I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
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If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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