i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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