I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize