There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize