just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize