Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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