I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize