does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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