Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize