I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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