I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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