4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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