but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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