he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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