Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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