And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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