he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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