I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize