we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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