why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize