It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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