I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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