The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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