can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
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Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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