yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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