It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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